If I Were in Charge of the Budget
by Anonymous UGA Faculty Person
[ tongue in cheek – mostly]
We’ve all heard about cuts proposed by Georgia institutions of higher education in response to recent legislative demands. UGA, for example, is threatening to ax 4H and half of the Cooperative Extension offices statewide.
Bad idea! I was a 4H-r as a kid and would hate to lose it, along with Rock Eagle. And Cooperative Extension – without Walter Reeves* and company, how will Georgians learn to grow those vegetables that they can’t afford to buy in the grocery store, or keep their yards looking nice after firing the teenage kid who cuts the grass? (*I know he’s retired, but you get my drift.)
Here are some alternative suggestions:
- Maybe it’s time to cash in some of the Gold off of the Gold Dome. We could, perhaps, paint it Red and Black instead. No? Perhaps the Governor could hold a fundraiser wherein the highest bidder gets to paint the Dome whichever color or logo he/she chooses – once per semester.
- We should cancel classes and furlough professors every time snow is forecasted anywhere in the state. We could have saved millions in this year alone! Oh wait, maybe we’re already doing that.
- Each department should devote 5% of its budget to invest in Georgia Lottery Tickets!
- Cut the online course management system out of the budget. Whatever we’re paying for it, it’s too much. Replace with free 2.0 tools.
- Perhaps we don’t need all of our curriculum. For example, Past Tense could be cut out of language programs. My students would probably love to cut out the Selection Policy part of the SLM curriculum about now …
UGA is still accepting applications for next year’s cohort of School Librarian students!
Info | or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Please add your ideas in the comments! We need all the help we can get.
Professional Survival Tip: Humor is absolutely essential to your health! The jokes don’t necessarily have to be any good to gain the healthy benefit of laughter.
Incognito GLMAGuest Blogger
(since I want to keep my state job as long as possible)
Un-disclaimer: the Commercial above is absolutely true! Apply now! And I really meant the parts about keeping 4H and Cooperative Extension.